September 16, 2015
Yeah I know… it’s been a while again since I have written one of these. I’m not making excuses but my son Ben got married this past Saturday and… well… my brain has been someplace else. I know that generally I have used this blog to write mostly “practical Christian/Spirit thoughts for laypeople”. That’s not to say of course that everyone will agree with me on these things, but I do try to be somewhat down to earth. I’m not “Captain Obvious” for nothing. But the truth is there are no rules here. I can write whatever I want, right? I mean, if I want to write something that is other than spiritual that’s okay, right? And if I just want to be silly, that should alright, right? So without any further ado…
When Ellen and I first got married we lived in Hawaii for 18 months. We got into the habit/routine of treating ourselves to artichokes regularly. They always seem to be in season out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Have you ever eaten an artichoke? I don’t mean the kind that comes marinated in a jar. I mean the whole, fresh artichoke. If you have not… well, it’s a little hard to explain. The short of it is this; they can be boiled in garlic water and lemon, or they can be baked and I suppose in this day they can be nuked. But after they are cooked the outer leaves are torn off and dipped into garlic butter, or mayonnaise and maybe other things I don’t know about. You then place the inside part of the leaf into your mouth and scrape off the very small amount of “artichoke meat.” Honestly, there really isn’t much to them.
In our stay in Hawaii we also had a handy little device that neither of us had grown up with called a garbage disposal. I’m sure I don’t need to describe what that is. What you might not be aware of however, is the list of things that should and should not be placed into one of these handy spinning monsters. For example ARTICHOKES! Don’t put them in your disposal. Don’t EVER put them in your disposal! If you do within a matter of seconds you will fill the cylinder with green fibers that are next to impossible to peel off of the blades that spin at the bottom. As a matter of fact you may find green fibers in your disposal… oh I don’t know… 6 months later! So this got me to thinking. What other sort of objects and dangers should we avoid? Here are a few things I came up with that you probably should not put in your disposal.
1. Spoons, forks, knives or anything else metal that one uses for eating.
2. Artichokes… did I say Artichokes?
3. Plastic bottle caps
4. Teenagers… whole or in part.
5. Road kill… no matter how fresh.
6. Evidence… well depending on how incriminating it is….
7. Dogs and ca____ well… uh… dogs.
8. Your hands while it’s running!
10. Anything explosive including bullets, shot gun shells and nuclear weapons if you got em
11. Your wife’s good jewelry
12. Your wife’s books
13. Your wife’s clothing
14. Pretty much anything that belongs to your wife.
15. Used oil
16. Drugs… I mean medication
17. Gold fish.
18. Your mother in law
19. Stink bugs
20. Freshly caught mice… EW!
21. Peach pits, cherry pits, apricot pits, orange pits (okay just wanted to see if you were paying attention)
22. Steak bones… for those who can afford steak!
You may not have a handy guide like this in your kitchen. I would suggest that you print this article and display it in a prominent place above your disposal to avoid accidents. Or not! I’ll write something a little more spiritual next time. Until then, if you want to add to my list then hit the “comment” tab.