Fishing

August 5, 2013

I know it’s not wise to criticize other people’s hobbies and interests… however… I detest fishing! Why you ask? Let me count the ways. It may have something to do with my first experience as a 6 year old near an isolated stream with my dad. We arrived at an ungodly time in the morning since the fish, so they say, bite better in the a.m. You couldn’t tell by me! Anyway, we unpacked our gear and began the trek down a path leading to the water. The first thing my father told me was not to touch a certain plant that grew along the trail. Well if you don’t want a 6 year old to touch a plant… DON’T TELL THEM NOT TO!! One little finger up the long leafy grass and I had a “paper cut” that burned all day! The sympathetic words “I told you not to touch it!” didn’t help.

We eventually reached the stream and proceeded to unpack and untangle the rods. Then of course I had to pick up a slimy worm and jam the barbed hook into its writhing body over and over again. I would have lost my breakfast… if we had had any breakfast. Of course my dad got to have a cup of coffee!! I then got my first lesson in casting. It looked simple enough. Well at least until the string with the hook and slimy worm wrapped themselves around my body and got fully implanted into my thumb. It kinda hurt. But my dad having to work the barb out with a pair of pliers… well let me just say… THAT WAY HURT!!!!! I was ready to go home at that point when I discovered we had a full, “glorious” day ahead of us.

I have to confess it was exciting when I felt the first colossal tug on the rod. The bobber disappeared from sight never to be seen again and a 15 minute battle ensued. I went right, I went left, I reeled the line in I let the line out… it was epic! “Don’t lose it, don’t lose it!” was all I could think. Finally when I was at the brink of total exhaustion… my arms screaming for relief, my fingers permanently frozen in place around the rod… it was only then that I finally heaved out of the water a massive four inch blue gill. I was so proud of myself! Well at least until I had to touch the oozing, slime and pull the hook from its mouth with the aforementioned pliers. Imagine my shock and dismay when my father said “throw it back”. “Throw it back!!” Don’t you mount these things or something? Or take them home and feed your family like Daniel Boone? Nope, you just throw them back. But it wasn’t so bad since I became friends with that Blue Gill as I’m pretty sure I caught it over and over again throughout that day. Did I happen to mention that it was a LONG day?!?!

I’m told there are other fish in the world besides Blue Gill… I’m not sure I really believe that since I have never caught anything else that I can recall… well okay, maybe a few bass.

You might think that standing all day mostly doing nothing is the worst part of fishing but you would be mistaken. Wait until you actually catch something worth keeping… if you EVER do! Then the real fun begins. First you take a flopping fish (did I mention they are slimy!?) and a sharp knife (this is not for the faint of heart). Plunge the knife through the brain of the fish so it will cooperate and lay nicely while you scrape off the scales. Then slice its belly from stem to stern and rip out the guts. Oh, don’t worry, it’s not really slippery and disgusting like you might think… NOT! Then it’s off with the head, off with the tail, off with the fins and ready for the frying pan… unless you are accomplished enough to filet it.

After all this… did I happen to mention that I not only don’t like to go fishing… I don’t like to eat fish either!

Well let me just say that I have a theological dilemma that I’m not really sure how to deal with. It is found in these words:

Matthew 4:18-20

18 As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” 20 At once they left their nets and followed him.

Shucks!!!!

Have a blessed day.

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